Phantompains

Therese Estacion survived a rare infection that nearly killed her, but not without losing both her legs below the knees, several fingers, and reproductive organs. Phantompains is a visceral, imaginative collection exploring disability, grief and life by interweaving stark memories with dreamlike surrealism.

Taking inspiration from Filipino horror and folk tales, Estacion incorporates some Visayan language into her work, telling stories of mermen, gnomes, and ogres that haunt childhood stories of the Philippines and, then, imaginings in her hospital room, where she spent months recovering after her operations.

Estacion says she wrote these poems out of necessity: an essential task to deal with the trauma of hospitalization and what followed. Now, they are demonstrations of the power of our imaginations to provide catharsis, preserve memory, rebel and even to find self-love.

Praise for Phantompains:

“Phantompains is a text of rare power, birthing a brave new world flush with pain, lust, drugs and the uterus. Estacion’s ‘Eunuched Female’ is a masterpiece: utterly indelible.” —Tamara Faith Berger, author of Queen Solomon

“I love Therese Estacion’s book. I love its humour, clarity, irreverence, and rage. It’s not a book about triumph (though she has triumphed), or perseverance (though she has persevered), or courage (though she has it). To me, it is a book about vision and reckoning, descent and return. Therese Estacion plunged into an abyss—found suffering, dehumanization, terror—and when she emerged, she chose to make radically confrontational art. Phantompains is the cosmic result of her dwelling, and her passage. In her words, “she became the subject”—I think she also became the seer.” —Sara Peters, author of I Become a Delight to My Enemies

Press Coverage:

Most Anticipated: Our 2021 Spring Poetry Preview —49th Shelf

“Documenting her experience through the lyric, Estacion’s book-length poem aches to understand what it is she has lost, and how to wrestle her way to how best to move forward, fully aware that the shadow of these losses might never fully disappear. The upending trauma and loss Estacion articulates in the opening sequence, as well as throughout the book, is palpable, powerful and unmistakable.” —rob mclennan’s blog

Phantompains Poetry Collection Takes on Disability, Grief and Life: An Interview with Therese Estacion —Avery Zingel, CBC North

Phantompains: An Interview with Therese Estacion —All Lit Up

Poets in Profile with Therese Estacion —Open Book

Filipino writer shares experiences in new book, ‘Phantompains’ —Paula Saraza, OMNI Filipino TV

Therese Estacion battled back from terrible loss, rediscovered herself through poetry and just published one of the best collections of the year —Briony Smith, Toronto Star

55 Canadian Poetry Collections to Check Out in Spring 2021 —CBC Books

How writing helped me heal after an infection took my limbs: A Television Interview with Therese Estacion —Cityline